after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize