Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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