i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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