hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
they're like a gay fantastic four
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize