do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You're a waste of cheezeits
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
