My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
