somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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