Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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