Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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