you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
