I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
