you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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