Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
