i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
