i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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