Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize