I skipped work to stalk him.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
