Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
