he puts the penis in happiness.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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