so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
