Pappa wants mamma naked
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
