On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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