My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
