is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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