This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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