I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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