so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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