we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
