I want to make a zoo with you.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize