u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
