While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
