Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
