Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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