i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Enjoy the penises
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
