I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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