I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize