im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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