i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
