you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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