it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
