I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize