just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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