He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
love makes seman taste better
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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