My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
