Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize