Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
