last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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