i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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