youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
