Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
