i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
