I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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