My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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