I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize