I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
