the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
