I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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