GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
