So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
