Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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