I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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