you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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