she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
