did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
