Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
